The Cookie Cutter Church

Dear Heavenly Father,

One of Your “Little Flock” had a vision. He said he had prayed, asking You to reveal the enemy to him, and to show him how they operate. Then he said…

I went to bed early and woke up during the night to a stench in my nostrils. I was looking into a room, like a cave, filled with smoke and dimly lit by the fires of hell. I saw what looked like a communications center, there were demonic messengers coming and going and a large Demon seated at a desk of stone, he appeared to be in charge.

On his desk was a message, stamped URGENT: April 2nd, 2005

Suddenly, Satan walked in demanding to know if there were any messages for him.

The demon replied, “There is an urgent message from The City of Madness.”

Satan answered, “Don’t just sit there, read it to me!”

This is what he read…

Dear Destroyer, – Our Father Satan, Serpent, Dragon

Our “Cookie” has crumbled, He is DEAD, and we are in a state of despair. We need Your help.

Please help us, as we follow you, working with lies and deceit, doing our best with the tools you have given us: sickness, disease, famine, and war.

We are Truly Yours,

Car di nal Mind and your Demonic Children

I heard Satan reply, “take this down and send it to them.”

My Dear Car di nal and Demonic Children,

Do not be afraid or despair, we are coming into a New Night of Darkness; more murders, robberies, lying politicians, and illegal aliens then ever. Even “The Weather” is doing wonderful works for us, drought and famine, floods and hurricanes, earthquakes with the seas and waves roaring! Following globally high temperatures are cold and nakedness, distress of nations with perplexity, and men’s hearts failing them for FEAR.

Get you down to My Den of Iniquity, there will I speak with you. Do not worry about your “Gays” and “Pedophiles”, they are safely in my hands. Even if some of you are put in prison, they will still have to house, feed, and clothe you there! Fear them not, and listen well, you murderers, thieves, and liars of mine! Gather up the “Crumbs” from your “Dead Cookie”, sugar coat them well, and send them out as “Simple Loving Fathers” to encompass land and sea, making proselytes for me!

I want you to remember well: “Sour Dough” never loses it’s fermentation and is always Self-Raising! I will raise you up a “Bright New Cookie”, and cover him with lots of Sweet Frosting (they cannot see through…), Vanilla White and Chocolate Coated, wrapped with a Raspberry Red Sash, and topped with a High Hat of Butterscotch Gold. Then I will adorn him with every jewel of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. This will they eat of… and want more, for I am the god of their lusts.

You are doing a good job with the sickness, disease, famine, and war. The cost of care when we attack with sickness and disease has skyrocketed. In FEAR they spend billions on health care and prevention. Then, when they come to our hospitals, we treat them with drugs. Expensive drugs that poison their bodies and cannot cure any disease. Famine is increasing, and Our income from war is at an all time high, both in souls and mammon!

Do not fear, I repeat, if “One Cookie” crumbles. I will raise you up another “Holy Cookie”, as I have down through all the ages. Our power reigns and our “Root” prevails!

Your Father, On Earth and Under the Earth, The Devil

P.S. Be careful how you baptize the infants, only “The Head” of the child, for Our Goal has always been to keep them in the dirt and in the dark, and to kill all the Enemies Children.

Our New Method is working! Killing them with kindness and “Sugar Cookies” is more effective than with lion or sword. Easier too, and they even pay us to do it! I have “Set My Seat” and “Raised Myself Up.” In all the world I am accepted and worshipped, as you will be with me.

Then he said, “I woke up trembling and wrote all this down so I could share it with you and the group!” “The next night I went to sleep and woke again to the stench.” “I saw a demonic messenger come in, he had a new message, it was the response from Car di nal Mind.”

I’ll send it to You in my next letter. We love You!

Your Pastor