A Knuckle Sandwich?

“Boy God, that’s pretty neat. Kinda like the Heavenly Baths keep the dirt of the world out of us and our Folks keep it off of us. I like that.”

“So God, do ya ‘member that one TV show with the funny looking guys wearing them dumb hats. Maybe they were Cone Heads, I was never sure…”

“Yes Davie, I remember that show. I couldn’t tell if they were Cone Heads or not either!

“Then you’ve seen those Cone Heads? That’s the way that One Guy looked that I saw. Boy, that’s the only time I heard my Mom and Dad fight! I had a real bad nightmare and woke up crying. My Dad came and got me and I told him about the Ice Cream Lady! My friend Timmy, and his Mom took me to see this guy. They called him Holy Father and some other name, Poop, or Pope.”

“Every one was crying cuz he was sick and dying. He came to a window and he was all wobbly. They even had to help him up to a big chair. Then someone else turned the pages in a book for him. I didn’t understand any of what he said. Timmy’s Mom whispered to the Ice Cream Lady that the Pope wore Prada. I sure didn’t know what that meant. All I wanted to do was go home. Then he did die! I thought it was You! Ya know they showed him on TV – DEAD! For four days! I was waiting for the World to end and I was scared that I’d never see my Mom and Dad again!”

“My Dad was holdin’ me in our big chair, then he jumped up, pulled on his sweats, and was lacing up his Tennies when my Mom said, ‘Just where do you think you’re going, Luke’? My Dad said, ‘Someone’s gonna get a knuckle sandwich and a butt bouncing from me! How dare they take my son to see and hear that trash. That Dirt Bag! As soon as one of those Old Farts loses his wind, they send up another one from the pit of hell! Show dead bodies on TV, and scare little kids. I’ve had it…'”

“My Dad was reaching for his jacket when my Mom stepped in front of the door and said, ‘Luke, you’ll have to go through me and this baby to get out this door. We are not going to teach our son one thing and do another.’ My Dad sort of stopped, looked up at my mom ya know, and then back at me. He stood real still and said, ‘You are right Kate.'”

“We all got in the big chair and my Dad said, ‘I’m sorry.’ Mom said, ‘Don’t tell me, tell God and your son’. Dad had to do the ‘Pent thing’! Then we all got in their big bed and I got to be in the middle. We did Spoons, Ya know! I turn my back to Dad, he snugs me, my Mom turns her back to me, and I get to snug her. Then Dad puts his big arm around both of us and we all get to feel the baby kick. So it turned out to be a good night!”

“Then Dad said, ‘Kate are you laughing?’ Mom kinda lied and said ‘No’; but she was cuz I could feel her laughing, ya know. Then Dad said, ‘What’s so funny’? Mom really laughed then, ‘Oh Luke, the person you were gonna give a knuckle sandwich and a butt bouncing to is the old woman who runs the Ice Cream Parlor. She is over 80 and a devout Catholic. Cuz of her giving, she was given four seats to the Pope’s visit.”’

“‘She chose Timmy and his mom. They asked Davie. I didn’t know what it was about or I wouldn’t have let him go. Once a month she bakes cookies and lets the kids have the old ice cream for free. She calls it a Treat Day. I thought that’s what it was, especially after Timmy said it was a Special Treat! I don’t think the knuckle sandwich would have been much, considering she doesn’t wear her teeth most of the time. And at 80+, I don’t think her butt has much bounce left in it!’ Then Mom started laughing again.”

“My Dad sat up in bed and said, ‘Listen Wife! My son and I need our rest. You tell her too, Davie. I don’t want to hear about this again for the rest of my life.’ Mom just laughed again and said, ‘Sure, Husband.’ Dad said, ‘The Bible says you as my wife need to be subject to me.’ ‘Yep, sure does,’ Mom replied, ‘But I believe when Abraham screwed up God told him to hearken to his wife Sarah. So my love, I promise not to bring this up for the rest of your life; only if I want something really, really, bad. I’ll just say Hearken Husband.'”

“Then she laughed again! Dad laughed too and we all kissed each other goodnight and went to sleep. Oh yeah God, guess what? Prada was some kinda shoes…Dumb looking red ones!”

Davie and his Heavenly Father enjoyed the story together. Then Davie said, “Ya know what God? I sure like talking to You! My Dad says after we talk we’re ‘posed to listen. That’s how we learn. So I guess I’ll do that too!

God replied, “I AM glad Davie. All I really want is for my kids to come and share with Me, good or bad! I AM interested in every part of their lives! There is just too much of this so-called Prayer. All I hear about is what they want, or think they need, or how they want Me to make the bad good again! They want My power without learning their lessons or growing in grace until they’re healthy in mind, body, and spirit.”

“Davie, I want you to always talk to Me, just like we are talking now. I AM always happy when we share our own secrets in Love and Laughter. We have a special relationship that’s just ours! You can tell me about your new friends, School, T-ball, Soccer, and when you learn to like girls, okay?